Funny Im Not Over My Ex

Have you been betrayed by someone you trusted and need some uplifting words? The following ex quotes will definitely lift your mood. And if you want even more, be sure to also have a look at our selection of uplifting quotes to brighten your day.

When a relationship is coming to an end, it's never really pleasant. No matter if you have separated yourself from your girlfriend/boyfriend or have chosen to part with one of your friends, letting go and moving on is not that easy.

"Some people don't realize what they have until it's gone, but that does not always mean they are supposed to get it back."
Stephan Labossiere

Ex quotes are perfect when you need a good laugh about whoever has hurt you. They will give you a way to express your anger but also to come to terms with what happened so that you can move on with your life.

These uplifting ex-quotes will put that beautiful smile back on your face

Going through a breakup or parting ways with your best friend is extremely difficult. It's even more difficult when the two of you have shared numerous wonderful moments with each other. But people change so breaking up is sometimes the only solution.

104 Hilarious Ex Quotes about Ex-Boyfriends and Ex-Best Friends

What is wonderful about the following quotes is that they all come from people who had been confronted with similar struggles. They all have been left or have chosen to end a relationship. As such, they know what it means to suffer from the breakup. But interestingly enough, they have also found beautiful ways of dealing with the issues. That's what the following ex quotes are all about: lifting you up and putting that wonderful smile back on your face. As a bonus, we have also included a couple of funny ex quotes , ex-boyfriend quotes, ex-girlfriend quotes, and ex-best friend quotes.

Here's our list of funny and slightly insulting ex quotes

1.

"Sometimes a woman will look back on what she had, not because she wants to go there but to motivate her to do better."
Reuben Holmes II

2.

"I love my ex so much I printed out all his pictures. After all, I need him for target practice. And I just love customized toilet paper and doormats. My only regret is that those items don't bear his autograph."
Natalya Vorobyova

3.

"All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else."
Mae West

4.

"I had a dream that my boyfriend went back to his ex… I woke up and giggled because you don't pick up a rock after finding a diamond."
Starley Ard

5.

"Sometimes we must undergo hardships, breakups, and narcissistic wounds, in order to discover […] that the loss of a cherished pleasure is not necessarily the loss of true happiness and well-being."
Jean-Yves Leloup

6.

"It is so strange, to encounter an ex. It's as if you're in a foreign film, and what you're saying face-to-face has nothing to do with the subtitles flowing beneath you. We are so careful not to touch, although once upon a time, I slept plastered to him in our bed, like lichen on a rock. We are two strangers who know every shameful secret, every hidden freckle, every fatal flaw in each other."
Jodi Picoult

7.

"I don't think much about guys from the past. I'm glad I knew them, but there's a reason they didn't make it into my future."
Lorraine Rosenthal

8.

"When we are in love, we are convinced nobody else will do. But as time goes, others do do, and often do do, much much better."
Jamie Weise

9.

"You can always evaluate a man's character by the way he speaks about his ex-girlfriends and other women. When entering a new relationship or getting close with a new guy, make sure you take notice of the language he uses when referring to other girls."
Miya Yamanouchi

10.

"Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake & help us see we are worth so much more than we're settling for."
Mandy Hale

11.

"Aren't we all tormented by past relationships?"
Alex Rosa

12.

"Finally I see that it's never been me, just a blanket that keeps you warm. Easily tossed along when something flashier or someone prettier comes along. Your heart I held so carefully, I see, this was all just a game."
Coco J. Ginger

13.

"I know my heart will never be the same but I'm telling myself I'll be okay"
Sara Evans

14.

"One of the best times for figuring out who you are and what you really want out of life? Right after a break-up."
Mandy Hal

15.

"We are all trying to get over the person who broke our hearts. We are all far from perfect."
Alex Rosa

16.

"Gone are the summer days
and my mind along with them.
No longer will I indulge
in hopes of getting you back.
It is hope that makes these chains heavier
and autumnal nights longer.
I will merely serve as a memory to you:
the lover that recited love poems.
I must go now
and I urge you not to look back."
Kamand Kojouri

17.

"All we shared was a mattress, and a lie, and an address."
Billy Talent

18.

"It was funny how all the useless knowledge you accumulated when you're in love with someone could sit for years gathering dust in the back of your mind, only to spill out at the slightest reminder."
Blakney Francis

19.

"Don't come back when you realize that I'm rare"
Genereux Philip

20.

"When your ex asks you to remain friends after you break-up, it's like a kidnapper asking you to "keep-in-touch" after he releases you."
Nitya Prakash

21.

"This morning, I woke up different. I accepted that life goes on… I might still love you, I might still miss you, but I'm better off without you. So, I'm closing this chapter of hurt because I deserve to be happy. And the only way I'll reach that is by letting go of toxic people who don't want to see me grow. Holding on doesn't make me strong, but letting go does."
M. Sosa

22.

"He counts as an ex because he made me feel dumped even without making me feel loved first."
David Levithan

23.

"He loved me. He loved me, but he doesn't love me anymore, and it's not the end of the world."
Jennifer Weiner

24.

"I don't write about you because you don't deserve to be immortalized in my words. I'll leave you to float around in my mind until forgetfulness comes to take you away."
J.A. Anum

25.

"A life-changing moment for me was the realization that sometimes the healthiest relationship you can have with someone (or something) is none at all."
Steve Maraboli

26.

"Drinking coffee with your ex is healthy. It's good for the soul."
Leju Thomas

27.

"One day your kids will ask you "What is love?" And you will look at your spouse and remember your ex."
Nitya Prakash

28.

"Some people each left their spouse or lover because he or she was no longer the primary source of their happiness; some, because their spouse or lover was, at that time, the primary source of their unhappiness."
Mokokoma Mokhonoana

29.

"One ends a romantic relationship while remaining a compassionate friend by being kind above all else. By explaining one's decision to leave the relationship with love and respect and emotional transparency. By being honest without being brutal. By expressing gratitude for what was given. By taking responsibility for mistakes."
Cheryl Strayed

30.

"I cannot compromise my respect for your love. You can keep your love, I will keep my respect."
Amit Kalantri

31.

"No matter how bad you want a person, if your hearts are in two different places, you'll have to pass and move on."
Alexandra Elle

32.

"Love doesn't leave you. Not all at once. It creeps back in, making you think it can be another way, that it can still be another way, and you have to remind yourself of the reasons that it probably won't be."
Laura Dave

33.

"When someone loves you, there's nothing they won't do for you. When they stop loving you, there's nothing they will."
Matt Dun

34.

"When I say I'm going to forget you I know it's impossible to forget someone I once knew. What I want is to erase you from my thoughts and purge you from my memories. I'm saying it's what I wish for, not what is or could ever be."
Donna Lynn Hope

35.

"You keep waiting for the heaviness to leave you. You keep waiting for the moment you never think about the ex again. It doesn't come."
Junot Díaz

36.

"I am a diamond in the rut. A diamond to an untrained eye looks like a rock stone. So men will kick it around on the ground. It takes a man with an expert eye for fine Jewelry to notice its worth."
Crystal Evan

37.

"No baby, you didn't hurt me. You wrecked me. Know the difference."
J.A. Anum

38.

"When things are falling apart, know they are actually falling into place."
Staci A. Welch-Bartley

39.

"Trust this: the universe has got your back. No man can mess with you or take advantage of you for as long as you are fully in touch with your sensuality because there is something in you that every man was designed to reverence each time it is detected. You command respect without even trying."
Lebo Grand

Funny ex quotes

40.

"Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for – looking up exes to see how fat they got?"
Bill Maher

41.

"Everyone has that one ex that they don't claim."
Nitya Prakash

42.

"I poured some coffee into a mug that read: "I'm not gay, but my ex-boyfriend is," compliments of Peyton."
Sandi Lynn

43.

"Just the way it never rains when you have an umbrella, you'll never run into people if you look fantastic. But go outside in pajamas, and you'll run into every ex you have."
Tim Gunn

44.

"You can't swing a cat in Ancient Greece without hitting one of Zeus's ex-girlfriends."
Rick Riordan

45.

"Blaming the ex for the breakup is like blaming the clothes for not fitting you."
Khang Nguyen

46.

"They like their coffee like they like their ex-boyfriends: bitter."
John Green

47.

"Our ex-wifes always harbor secrets about us that make them irresistible. Until, of course, we remember who we are and what we did and why we are not married anymore."
Richard Ford

48.

"How ex are we talking? The kind where you have to take everything that he ever gave you and bury it in the backyard so there will be nothing to remind you of how much you loved him."
Amy A. Bartol

49.

"Don't look now, but that's my ex over there."
Surely I'm not the only one who takes "don't look now" as "there's no better time than now." I looked.
"Bad, Ali!" Another slap to my arm. "Bad, bad, bad Ali! Have you no self-control?"
Gena Showalter

50.

"I know why people write poetry," Javi says. "Because they're a bunch of emotional saps with nothin' better to do than whine about ex-girlfriends and dead dogs."
"You're wrong, Javi," I say. "That's called country music."
Colleen Hoover

51.

"It's disconcerting to realize how little you have to say to someone who once occupied such a prominent place in your bed."
Sue Grafton

52.

"When I kissed Henry I wasn't imagining Ex-boyfriend #13; I was picturing Husband #1."
Lisa Lutz

53.

"Fletcher was always going to be your ex-boyfriend, from the moment you met him. He's just finally caught up with where he's supposed to be."
Derek Landy

Ex-boyfriend quotes

54.

"There will be times when it seems that it would be best to just call him and see how he's doing. Don't deceive yourself, you don't care about how he's doing, you're just craving him, don't do it. You'll only hurt yourself."
Osayi Osar-Emokpae

55.

"He will be sorry for the way he treated you, don't you worry about that. Focus on your growth and watch his eyes gaze in sorrow as he knows, he was the bastard that made you strong."
Nikki Rowe

56.

"In what twisted universe would a girl who's just been dumped still want to be friends with the boy who dumped her?"
Susane Colasanti

57.

"Whatever he's calling his ex right now, he'll be calling you when things don't go his way. Be warned."
Miya Yamanouchi

58.

"Honey, a girl can't keep a man like that as a friend. He's a lover or an ex-lover, but never a friend. Men like that weren't created to be a woman's friend – they were created to make a woman hit high C three times in a row."
Nicole Williams

59.

"Amongst all the beautiful women in this world… there's always an idiot ex-boyfriend, who still expects her love again"
Unknown

60.

"It's probably a bad indicator of your lifestyle when you miss your ex-boyfriend because he's absolutely lethal."
Charlaine Harris

61.

"I thought he should have realized sooner that important people don't show up very often, and you should hold on to them when they do. Maybe I was smarter than he was all along, because that was something I'd always known."
Lorraine Zago Rosenthal

62.

"A deceitful man will go as far as to trample all over a woman's reputation and spirit, in order to prove to his ex-love that he was faithful. The irony is he is still in love with his ex and the new woman in his life doesn't even realize it."
Shannon L. Alder

63.

"My feeling is, if a dog is that hard up to break free, let it go. It's like a boyfriend who wants to break up. We all know the old adage "If you set someone free, and he never comes back, then he was never yours." I understand the main fear with setting dogs loose is they could get hit by a car, but so could an ex-boyfriend. That's just a chance you have to take."
Chelsea Handler

64.

"Yeah, sure, I can do a passionate play with my ex-lover, who broke my heart not once, but twice. No problem. I bang my head against the wall. If there were a Nation of Stupid People, I would be their queen."
Leisa Rayven

65.

"As his ex-wife, Justine, put it, "He does what he wants, and he is relentless about it. It's Elon's world, and the rest of us live in it."
Ashlee Vance

66.

"Things You Shouldn't Say on a Date:
8. My ex, may he rot in hell forever…"
Gena Showalter

67.

"There's nothing like that feeling of waiting for a guy. It's the loneliest feeling in the world. Holding that cell phone in your hand as you take out the trash, use the bathroom, change the litter box. Fearful that the one second you aren't looking will be when they call. Pathetic. And something I have done as recently as last week."
Hilary Winston

68.

"Don't allow someone not worth it to have the power to occupy your thoughts. If they don't find you worth the effort or the time, why should you waste yours?"
Donna Lynn Hope

69.

"Jealous much, Matthews? Is it because I'm a favorite, or is it because you still want me?"
Alex Rosa

70.

"If a man, who says he loves you, won't tell you the details of a private conversation between him and another woman you can be sure he is not protecting your heart. He is protecting himself and the women he has feelings for. Wise women simply see things as they are, not as their low self-esteem allows."
Shannon L. Alder

71.

"How will it help to tell you that I see his face every time I close my eyes? That I wake up and cry when he's not there? That the memories are so strong I can't separate hers from mine anymore?"
Stephenie Meyer

72.

"Threatening a current or former partner isn't passion, or love, or heartache. It's violence, it's abuse and it's a crime."
Miya Yamanouchi

73.

"I've written songs about things like burning my ex-boyfriend's pictures… I've written songs about the times that I've been hurt by love. But then one day I woke up and realized that I had hurt somebody… And so I wrote this song to tell him I'm sorry"
Taylor Swift

Ex-girlfriend quotes

73.

"After all, soulmates always end up together. Silly Bethany won't even be remembered then. Ex-girlfriends are easily forgotten. Best friends stay with you forever."
Cecelia Ahern

74.

"Having a date with someone other than your ex-wife after being a married man for more than twenty-five years was an important occasion alright, but wearing a tie she bought with such strong emotional value attached to it was a form of cowardice, a subconscious reluctance to let go."
Vann Chow

75.

"Our lives were now worlds apart, separated by time, circumstance, and the unbridgeable chasm of money."
Travis Luedke

76.

"You want to know what it feels like to be castrated? Try having your nine-year-old brother protect you from your ex-girlfriend after you've told her you're in love with a man."
T.J. Klune

77.

"The three of us, working together to save the world. Me, my ex-girlfriend, and the guy she dumped me for. This has to be the most screwed up situation three teenagers have ever found themselves in."
Rachel Hawkins

78.

"I love firm hugs. Statues are so affectionate. Well, at least compared to my ex wife."
Jarod Kintz

79.

"Love is like a forest, I think as I kill trees by squandering toilet paper while "decorating" my ex-girlfriend's front yard."
Jarod Kintz

80.

"Ex-girlfriends are like car wrecks. You shouldn't want to know the details, but you do."
Allison van Diepen

81.

Men who stayed friends with their ex-girlfriends were Feathery Strokers. Especially if they called them their "ex-partner."
Marian Keyes

82.

"But if there was a protocol for how to say goodbye to your newly ex-boyfriend's brother, right after you kissed him and probably sent your ex into the arms of his willing ex-girlfriend, I didn't know what it was."
Rachel Vincent

83.

"Sadly enough, the most painful goodbyes are the ones that are left unsaid and never explained."
Jonathan Harnisch

84.

"Anything disguised as anything is chameleon. A ghost disguised as an unobservable and invisible object is a great example. Still, that's easier to see than the love my ex-wife had for me."
Jarod Kintz

85.

"Sitting on the sidewalk outside of his workplace like some creepy stalker ex-girlfriend, waiting for him to come out so I can ambush him with love."
Cynthia Hand

Ex-best friend quotes

86.

"When a friend leaves you, you move on. When a best friend leaves you, part of you is gone"
Misti Hemlock

87.

"I guess what they say is true/Friends come and go. But I never thought that would apply to you."
Unknown

88.

"What did that stupid deserting crap-bag ex-boyfriend, ex-best friend with the most perfect stupid hair do? He DIDN'T delete his crap off the desktop before he fled my life and left me all alone. That's what he did."
James Patterson

89.

"Friendship requires truth, and there is no truth in her."
Julie Eshbaugh

90.

"Rachel Bruin, my ex-best friend. Words climb up my throat. This was the girl who suffered through Brownies with me, who taught me how to swim, who understood about my parents, who didn't make fun of my bedroom. If there is anyone in the entire galaxy I am dying to tell what really happened, it's Rachel. My throat burns."
Laurie Halse Anderson

91.

"Friendships cause heartbreaks too."
Unknown

92.

"Friendship plants itself as a small unobtrusive seed; over time, it grows thick roots that wrap around your heart. When a love affair ends, the tree is torn out quickly, the operation painful but clean. Friendship withers quietly, there is always hope of revival. Only after time has passed do you recognize that it is dead, and you are left, for years afterward, pulling dry brown fibers from your chest."
Anna Lyndsey

93.

"Some people aren't loyal to you. They are loyal to their needs of you. Once their needs change, so does their loyalty."
Unknown

94.

"Behind many broken friendships there is a marriage."
Pratik Akkawar

95.

"Oh, my bad. I'm sorry for bothering you. I forgot I only exist when you need me for something."
Unknown

96.

"I used to know you the best and now I don't even remember your name."
Mya Waechtler

97.

"I'd rather have no friends than fake ones."
Unknown

98.

"Relationships are like broken glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than hurt yourself trying to put the pieces back together"
Alex Haditaghi

99.

"We linked hands – my ex-boyfriend, my boyfriend, and my former friend-then-enemy-then friend and I – and walked through a door to see if maybe empty carbs were good for something after all."
Kiersten White

100.

"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
Martin Luther King, Jr.

101.

"No one is really busy. It all depends on what number you are on their priority list."
Unknown

102.

"Because I want us to be friends again. I made some really bad choices, and I'm sorry. You're leaving for Florida and if we don't fix this now, it won't be fixed."
Katie McGarr

103.

"Some people are meant to frame your destiny but not reach the destined destination with you."
Adhish Mazumder

104.

"Somebody asked me if I knew you. A million memories flash through my mind, but I just smiled and said I used to."
Unknown

I hope you enjoyed this collection of funny ex quotes.

Stay victorious!

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Source: http://www.planetofsuccess.com/blog/2019/ex-quotes/

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